I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
