is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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