Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
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I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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