Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
