how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
