I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
