Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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