If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
