dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
