I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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