he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
