Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
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Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
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my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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