i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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