Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need water and some morals
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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