dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The power of my boobs compel you
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
