i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
