I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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