We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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