When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
