she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
