She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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