Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
