I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i think im in europe. pls send help
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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