I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
