does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
