He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
