I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
