It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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