I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
