It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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