Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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