considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
