well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
