dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
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I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
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I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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