Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
