Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
