its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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