not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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