I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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