he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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