i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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