Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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