Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
