Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
