You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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