I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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