Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
