Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
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I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
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Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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