Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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