You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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