i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
