She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
