Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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