Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize