I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
