so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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