Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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