thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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