To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
