I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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