FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize