just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
