we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
