i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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