well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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