he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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