The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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