Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
